I'm Hank. I was your typical emergency room doctor.
Until I got fired.
ADMINISTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die
to save some kid off the street.
I made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
HANK: This is my brother.
I'm Evan R. Lawson, CPA.
HANK: He took me away from my troubles and to the Hamptons.
And suddenly, I had a chance to become a whole new kind of doctor.
It turns out the wealthy and not so wealthy out here
could use a guy who makes house calls.
So, I've got a second chance to do what I do best.
So, welcome to the inaugural HankMed staff meeting.
I love your blouse, Divya. Good. Good day to you.
First on this evening's agenda, business development.
It's 11:00 a.m.
Oh, yeah. No, I wrote this last night. Sorry.
Yeah. Since I left the ER,
the two things I miss least are pelvic exams and staff meetings.
And not necessarily in that order.
Evan, can't you just send out an e-mail?
Oh! Yeah. Okay.
You know what? I'll send an e-mail. That's great. Okay. Cool, Divya.
I'm sending an e-mail to both of you that says,
"I worked for three days on this multimedia presentation
"and that you're going to sit down, shut up, and enjoy it."
There. Sent. How does that sound?
How's it going over there, Stu?
(HICCUPING) Still working on it, Mr. Lawson.
Okay, that's cool. Keep it up.
Was it really necessary to retain an AV specialist for this?
(STU HICCUPS)
We should reschedule the meeting.
Motion to reschedule not seconded.
Motion fails. Moving on.
There's no stopping him when he's like this.
The bylaws to our tree house were eight pages long.
And it was an imaginary tree house.
(HICCUPS) So, as I projected,
the HankMed balance sheet is robust
as we approach the end of our fiscal summer.
All I needed to hear. Thanks, Ev.
(STU CONTINUES HICCUPING)
Here, Stu. Drink this. It should help.
But our gold standard is turning our one-time patients
into retainer-paying clients.
"Patients into clients." This is our new motto.
Let's all say it together.
(HICCUPS) Patients...
(STU HICCUPING) Patients...
Okay. All together now.
(HICCUPS) Patients... Okay. Excuse me for one second.
(SHOUTING)
Thanks, Mr. Lawson.
Absolutely. Did it work for you?
(HICCUPS) Sorry, Mr. Lawson. Cool. It's all right.
So, our research department has shown that
when our CFO attends house calls,
client conversion triples.
Has our research department also found that we have no research department?
Funny. That's really funny. Guys, I propose that for select residential quadrants,
I join you on visits to provide the on-site up-sell
and administer customer satisfaction surveys.
Great idea. Awesome presentation. I'm off to the lab.
Awesome presentation. Okay. Really? Wicked.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
HankMed. How can we make you feel better today?
(HICCUPS)
I can't believe you're here.
You better respect the patient.
Oh, my God. I googled them. She's a swimsuit model.
And he's filthy rich. So, yeah, I respect them both. Trust me.
So, hi. Are we treating, like, a pterodactyl?
No. My husband. We got married here yesterday.
Oh, congratulations. Oh, that's so cool.
Thank you. It was beautiful.
You know, I wanted to honeymoon in the real Amazon,
but my husband, Alan, is deathly afraid to fly.
So, he rented this for us. EVAN: Oh.
That's a lovely gesture.
It was. Until the pollen or something set off his allergies.
Yeah?
I've said bless you so many times,
I'm starting to sound like the pope.
(LAUGHS)
Well, you look way sexier in your work clothes,
so you've got nothing to worry about.
Evan. Be quiet. What?
Be professional. Behave.
But mostly, be quiet.
EVAN: Oh, my God.
Alan! Alan, honey?
The doctors you called are here.
Okay!
I'm so glad you're here.
(ALAN SNIFFLING)
Hi. Hey.
I was just dropping a sample off at the lab.
Oh.
It's okay. You don't have to explain why you're here.
Right. So, how have you been?
You know, for the past couple of days.
Pretty good. You?
Pretty good.
So, what are you up to for the next couple of days?
I'm sorry. I know what we said, but...
It's easier said than done.
Who knew it would be this hard? Yeah.
Yeah. And we're obviously still going to be bumping into each other,
so we do need to make some ground rules.
Right. Right. And what's fair game.
And what's not.
Yeah. But more, what is.
Excuse me, Miss Casey. Um...
The emergency arrhythmia patient we admitted yesterday
is checking himself out. AMA.
Well, did we try talking sense into him?
Okay. All right. I'll get Dr. Weisman. Excuse me.
Yeah. Sure.
I signed fewer forms when I bought my house.
Those your kids?
Yeah.
Nothing quite like leaving a hospital to raise your spirits.
Excuse me, sir? I'm Dr. Lawson.
I'd love to talk, Doc, but I'm not staying.
Yeah, neither am I. I don't even work here.
You mind if I check your chart?
All yours. I'm done with it. Here you go.
Thanks.
Mr. Kingsley.
You were admitted just yesterday
for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy?
Little stutter step with my ticker. But I feel great now.
So, they adjusted your medications and stabilized you.
But that doesn't mean you should leave.
Look, I know some patients check out
against medical advice for financial reasons.
Luckily, my wife bought us good insurance.
Then use it. Stay.
You have a very serious heart condition.
I also have a very serious work deadline.
If I don't make my deadline, I can't make a living.
And then my wife can't buy us health insurance. Ironic, huh?
Almost poetic.
But still not a good enough reason to leave here.
Don't worry. My studio is low-stress.
Less stressful than this place.
I meditate, live organically
and the little lady dotes on me.
That's great. All great. But you still need medical supervision.
Are you a cardiologist?
No, just a friend of the hospital. I'm a private physician.
Private? As in house calls? Yeah.
Problem solved. You're hired and I'm out of here.
No, no. That's not what I meant to...
Doc, I'm going to walk out that door
and go home to my wife, no matter what.
If you come with me, at least I have supervision, right?
Yeah, but...
Mr. Kingsley? Hi. I'm glad you're still here.
The cardiologist is on his way.
No need. I signed your forms
and I'm on my way with my new doctor.
Miss Casey. Miss Casey, they need you in critical care immediately.
HANK: "Zoomer and Jewel." Cute.
My wife and I created them 15 years ago.
That must be cool, to work with your wife.
(SCOFFS) You're not married, are you?
(LAUGHS) No.
Our first book sold 50 copies.
Ten books later, Zoomer and Jewel are local icons.
Like Martha Stewart.
But they've never done hard time.
Right. Right.
These books, they are the only thing that worked out.
We get one good paycheck a year.
God knows we need it.
(CHUCKLES)
Still, this seems like a lot to illustrate in three days.
Which is why I called our publisher for an extension.
For someone who works in children's books,
that lady knows a lot of very nasty words.
Hank, this is Julie, the writer...
Oh, and my wife.
I just went to the hospital and all they'd tell me is that you checked out.
They sent me home. So I found a private doctor. Check him out.
Hot veggies, tea, and a Hank are no substitute for a hospital.
The Hank tried to tell him that.
Well, I'm feeling Zen, which means it's time to get back to work.
Our little guys look bored.
Yeah, well, they didn't just have an adventure called
Zoomer and Jewel Take a Ride in an Ambulance.
You have.
Honey, you have got to take it easy.
The scanning shop needs my proofs in three days, right?
Yes. And?
And we have the reading at the library.
We do a sneak reading for every release. It's our good luck tradition.
That's funny. I have my own good luck tradition
where I give the patient an exam.
Soon. Honey, what's so hard about sticking to page count?
Twelve pages, you said. Not sixteen.
So, exactly what kind of animals are these little guys?
Tasmanian devils. Badgers.
We've never really agreed.
Then, how do you draw them?
Vaguely. You know what?
Maybe they're woodchucks. Did you ever think woodchuck?
Sorry. Let's do the exam now. I'll go get my stuff.
So, you should know, Alan, that I'm a humongous fan of your work.
I really... Just being in your house
and this close to you is, like... Whoa.
'Cause you're like a rock star
of stock portfolio tracking software.
And it's just, you know, it's just such an honor.
It's always nice to meet a fan.
Absolutely.
Now that we've all mingled, I should treat Mr. Ryder's allergies.
Right.
Rachel, honey, why don't you go enjoy the beach?
Because you know it reminds me of work.
You think swimsuit modeling is easy?
The woman can't enjoy the beach anymore.
Maybe I could go shopping.
You're in, like, 300 different magazine and billboard ads.
Shouldn't shopping remind you of work, too?
I have selective memory.
(RACHEL KISSES ALAN)
Evan. Mmm-hmm?
Will you excuse us?
Wait. I spoke to you on the phone.
You said your business is discreet?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, HankMed invented discretion, man.
We're just, you know, too discreet to publicize it.
Fine. My problem isn't allergies.
You're the doctor?
Physician assistant.
And as a medical practitioner, I'm obligated to maintain confidentiality.
EVAN: What she said.
For some reason, I assumed HankMed meant a doctor named Hank.
You see? I should get a branding award for coming up with that.
The doctor can come later. Or I can help you now.
Okay. Maybe you can help.
(SIGHS)
It started last night. Pain. When I go.
Internet said kidney stone, right? It will pass?
The internet says a lot of things.
Did it begin in your back and descend?
No. Should it have?
Most kidney stones do. Where does it hurt, precisely?
I doubt it's a kidney stone.
I'll have to take a look at your genitals.
Wouldn't the physician do that while you assist?
Can't you just give me a pill I can take for now?
I'm paying quite a bit for you to not be a doctor.
I understand... You know what?
Maybe we don't have to do an exam.
Evan! May I speak with you?
Absolutely, Divya. Give us one second, Alan. Be right back.
(EVAN LAUGHS POLITELY)
What do you think you're doing?
Shutting you down, Nurse Guantanamo.
What are you doing? Have you ever heard of bedside manner?
This isn't about bedside manner.
This is about diagnosing a problem and helping a patient.
You don't need an MD at the end of your name
to know what's going on here.
Well, duh. But the guy obviously doesn't want to tell a CFO and his PA
that his brand new wife gave him an STD.
Where's your trademark HankMed tact?
People pay to be treated, not coddled.
And I don't give a tinker's cuss for your marketing drivel.
I can't debate you if you talk gibberish
that sounds kind of like something
a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins would say.
Honestly.
But you can't cure him unless you win his trust first. So work with him.
Guys. Should I call someone else? An actual doctor, maybe?
Patients into clients. Patients into clients.
Say it. It's empowering. And it's Hank-sanctioned, too, remember?
Here we go.
Mr. Ryder, I apologize.
I believe you may have an infection. Yep.
I'll need to take some blood and urine samples...
Urine samples, probably.
...to confirm the diagnosis.
Meantime, I can prescribe
some antibiotics and painkillers. Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
Will that be sufficient?
Delightful.
On behalf of me and my genitals, thank you.
Absolutely. Well, we aim to please all of you, so...
Great. That was great.
HANK: Breathe in. Out.
Yeah. You can have high tea when the exam is done.
Breathe in.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Out.
Okay. Pulse is down to 60 from 70 when you left the hospital.
Blood pressure is 120 over 75. You're doing better.
I told you I'd be fine. Natural living.
The food from my organic garden beats hospital food any day.
The rocks in your garden beat hospital food.
(LAUGHING)
But Hamptons Heritage put you on the right medications.
Calcium channel blockers and furosemide.
I'd prefer the hospital food.
Now, if we're done, I'll get to work.
Hey, you know what? Tell me about all these characters.
I mean, where do you guys get your ideas?
My wife gets them. From me.
Life experience, I guess. Zoomer's always been the mischievous one.
The little white one?
No, that's Jewel, the good girl.
She's harder to illustrate than he is. It's all about shading the white.
Speaking of shading,
your wife should know the truth about how you left the hospital.
(SCOFFS)
A year ago, I found out I had this thing.
And, look, I know Julie is just trying to protect me.
But, you know, I like illustrating for kids.
Not being treated like one.
This isn't just a thing. Part of your heart is too big.
It's crucial that you monitor and medicate it
so you don't develop complications.
I do. Look at my numbers.
And we should talk about long-term options.
I mean, there are surgeries you might be a candidate...
Long-term? You sound like the hospital I just left.
Let's talk long-term later.
I hired you to get me through the next three days.
(SIGHING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey. Hey.
Uh, come in. Come in.
(KETTLE WHISTLING)
Oh! Uh... I'm just going to... Come on in.
I'm glad you came by. You got my message?
I did. And I decided to respond in person.
Look, I really am sorry about what happened today with Zack.
Zack. Oh, you mean Mr. Kingsley.
Hmm. How is my patient, anyway?
He's doing well.
Jill, look, he was already leaving Hamptons Heritage
before I even got there.
At least now, he has medical supervision.
What you did, Hank, is the definition of not fair game.
What do I tell my board members
if they ask me why my boyfriend...
I'm sorry, ex-boyfriend, poached a serious cardio case from me?
Tell them this was unintended and in no way personal.
And that they're giving their hospital a little too much credit.
What the hell does that mean?
Let's face it. Zack wasn't really going to undergo his cardiac surgery
at Hamptons Heritage anyway.
Really? And why not?
Look, it's a great hospital for some things.
But, Jill, if you had his condition,
I'd want you at a larger, specialized facility.
My tiny unspecialized facility is full of dedicated people
who save lives every day. Just like you used to.
It just so happens, Hank, you don't have to get fired to be a good doctor.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
Come on. Please. Dude. I didn't even use it yet.
Sorry, Mr. Lawson. It is a 24-hour rental.
I know, but can a brother get a grace period? I mean...
(LAUGHS)
Okay. Yes.
All right. Thank you, Stu.
Now, allow me to walk you through the financial benchmarks
that we did not get through yesterday.
Actually, medical updates take priority.
I know, but... Okay. But we finally...
Divya, what's the status of our fake allergy patient?
He wasn't cooperative. But it's most likely a simple STD.
He probably won't think it's simple.
When are lab results expected?
They'll be e-mailed any time now.
Meanwhile, I started ceftriaxone and doxycycline.
And oxycodone for the pain.
All right. Well, wide-spectrum antibiotics was a good call.
Speaking of good calls, did you make yours?
No. I haven't called her, yet.
You should send flowers. I recommend peonies.
Thank you.
(HICCUPING)
Again with this?
Not again. Still.
Wife's about to kill me. We just had a baby boy, and I'm...
(HICCUPS) I'm...
I'm keeping him up at night.
(HICCUPS) All right. Come here. Let me take a look.
Look, you only delayed the inevitable yesterday.
When the STD results come back positive,
someone's going to have to discuss it with them.
That will be a real Dr. Phil moment.
Here is their contract and invoice. You take care of that.
And I'll take care of him.
Okay. This is tetracaine. It's a mild anesthetic.
It'll relax the larynx and end the spasm.
Wow. Thanks. Thank you.
Hey, no sweat. Thank you.
You got it.
Hey. I'm giving you guys an extension.
Dude. Dude.
All right, guys. Is the case handled? Mmm.
I really think she needs backup, Doctor.
I've got it. I'm going back there today.
Alone.
Oh, and I read Zack's file. His non-compliance sounds like a liability.
You want Divya should rough him up?
No, I'm good. I'm going over there right now. I've got a plan.
Plan. Plans are good. Contracts are better.
You don't even have one with him yet, do you?
Well, I... Okay. You know what?
This Handshake Hank thing is really cute, but now, I'm tagging along with you.
Fine. And by the way,
next time we have a staff meeting,
we are going to use that multimedia station,
because I slaved over that PowerPoint.
And I also really want to use this laser pointer.
(CLICKING LASER POINTER)
Stop it. Stop it.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Zack? Exam time. Come on down.
(MUSIC STOPS)
Take a break, Picasso.
Zack. Step down, please.
(GRUNTS)
I'm okay.
You stopped taking your calcium channel blockers.
They wore you out, so you compensated with too many diuretics.
And now you're dehydrated and cramping. That's why you fell.
I need a banana for some potassium.
Zack, we are way past bananas and tea.
All those diuretics made you ototoxic.
Temporarily deaf. You can barely hear me, right?
Those blockers make me feel like crap.
I take them, I miss deadlines.
And eventually, our publisher is going to drop us.
I can't afford to play Russian roulette with our livelihood.
Well, you're playing Russian roulette with your life.
I've got to make a living, Hank.
Look, I get it. I do. But if you don't take your meds,
you could develop a severe arrhythmia.
I'm your doctor. You need to listen to me.
What?
You need to listen to me.
Don't you guys have a AAA discount?
Coupon in the paper? Two-for-one special? Anything?
We're here to keep your husband alive, ma'am.
Not steam clean your carpets.
Fine.
Here's a check for half.
I'll give you collateral for the rest.
What kind of collateral?
Because I'd really rather not have to store any valuables, ma'am.
(SIGHING)
Wow. All right.
I don't even have to ring a bell with a sledgehammer
or let you guess my weight first?
The book is a first edition.
It's worth something. And be careful with the stuffed animals.
Some of them were determined to be highly flammable.
Kids were setting these on fire?
One kid. He was fine. But his parents were lawyers.
Okay.
Forget the collateral.
Just indulge me by completing a survey, okay?
On a scale of one to ten, how satisfied are you with your decision to hire HankMed?
I didn't want to hire you in the first place.
We traded an entire cardiac ward for a guy with a duffel bag.
My husband belongs in the hospital.
So, can I say, like, 9.5?
I'll just say nine.
I've been avoiding Rachel all day.
This allergy ruse won't last long.
Then let's get this diagnosed and treated
so the two of you can move on.
If you'd let me do the exam now...
(EXHALES)
The tests showed that it's not a urinary tract infection or syphilis.
Why did you test for syphilis?
I retired my player's jersey when I met Rachel.
Although the wild stories about mutual fund software entrepreneurs
are everything you've heard, and then some.
Wait.
You thought my wife was cheating on me right before our wedding?
Not necessarily. But given your restrictions, that's all I could test for.
She was on a three-week photo shoot.
She flew in for the wedding, so we haven't been intimate for a month.
I certainly didn't mean to cast aspersions.
If you'd let me conduct a quick exam...
So far, your medical hunches haven't been that hunchy.
So, what are you going to check for now?
Epididymitis or testicular orchitis.
Neither of those sounds any good.
I don't name them. I just treat them.
Hey, for the record, I don't have any problem with you being a woman.
Good. Neither do I.
My problem is you're an assistant.
Mr. Ryder, if you would worry less about my title
and focus more on what I can do,
hopefully, I can get you back on your honeymoon.
Now. Drop them.
You can just fax it. That's cool.
Mrs. Kingsley. We need to talk.
Of course we do.
Then, you can call it a consultation and charge us for it.
No, no, no. This isn't about the money.
Evan, they can pay what they want, when they want.
That's actually exactly what I was about to tell Mrs. Kingsley.
But in exchange, I expect that survey to be filled out, okay?
Optional comments section included.
I'll see you at home. Okay.
So, you finally realized you bit off more than you can chew
with my loving, stubborn-as-hell husband.
No, I realized that you and I want the same thing, and we can help each other.
And how's that? By convincing Zack
that he needs to be your husband first and your illustrator second.
Zack?
He locked it again. He gets like this before every deadline.
Zack. Open up, buddy.
Even I don't get a key.
The good news is the kitchen and the bathrooms are all on this side of the door.
So, eventually, he has to come out.
Zack! Zack!
Open the door, Zack!
What's happening?
It's called a flash pulmonary edema.
(WHEEZING) This fluid is coming from his lungs.
Grab that bag, please?
JULIE: Oh, please!
Don't leave me, sweetie.
Please. I need you.
HANK: It's going to be okay.
Stay with me, Zack.
Please.
Just stay calm and breathe, Zack.
This is a BiPAP machine. There's fluid backed up into your lungs.
The BiPAP will help your oxygenation
and improve the function of your heart.
Julie, come here. Can you hold him?
Keep him sitting up while the machine does its work. Okay.
You'll feel better soon.
I have you, Zack. I have you.
I'm not putting a gown on. You wanted a look, I gave you a look.
I eliminated epididymitis and orchitis.
But I did see a mild ulceration down there.
In order to diagnose it, I'll need to examine your pulse,
your temperature, your nose, your ears...
I told you where it hurts. You're not even looking in the right end.
This is part of the diagnostic process.
I need to do a full examination
and get a scraping from the ulcer
to put under a microscope.
The software I invented sold millions
because it gives people an answer.
No offense. I just think a doctor would have given me one by now.
Or at least have a theory.
It could be any number of things.
It would be irresponsible to speculate out loud at this point.
Any number of things. Like what? Please. Be irresponsible.
Granuloma inguinale. Chancroid. Balanitis. Fungal infection.
Psychosomatic dermatitis. Herpes zoster. Tuberculosis.
HPV. Squamous cell carcinoma.
Carcinoma? On my honeymoon? On my...
That?
Oh, God.
I knew something had to happen.
Good. So those are Zack's options.
Yup. Do it my way, the right way, or it's back to Heritage.
Sounds like a no-lose situation for me.
Either way, I get to keep you alive, Zoomer.
All right. Fluid's dissipated. How do you feel?
Lucky, I guess. And cold.
I'll go get your tea.
All right. Ready for the blockers?
Actually, first I'd like to finish...
Rhetorical question. Before you do anything else,
I need to give you the medication that will keep you alive.
Look, the good news is the IV catheter is already in,
so I just have to switch bags.
Yeah. And the bad news is now I'll be lame.
Kids hate lame, Hank.
So, you'd let your course of treatment be dictated
by people who are three feet tall and eat paste for fun?
Why not? They dictate the course of my career.
Don't give up on me. Get your health back.
Then you can work on getting your mojo back.
Hey, maybe you could put a little doctor character in one of your books.
Hey, do I tell you how to practice medicine?
Actually, that's exactly what you've been doing. Yeah.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Yeah?
I'm just saying I never heard of the job,
so how could I know if a so-called "PA"
knows a kidney stone from a kidney bean?
Because she works for me
and we ask that question on the HankMed job application.
You're the doctor?
Great. Glad to finally have you involved.
I've been involved. Divya's kept me informed every step of the way.
Mr. Ryder, I am happy to check you out,
but you were in great hands before I got here.
How far along were you?
He wouldn't let me give him a full exam.
I gave her a peek.
I thought he didn't have allergies.
I don't. I didn't.
HANK: Minor lesions in the nasal membrane.
In combination with the other ulceration.
I've seen this overseas.
I don't go overseas.
Were you in the greenhouse much?
Only for the wedding.
Did you spend any additional time there?
Not in your tuxedo, perhaps?
Well, yes.
Rachel came to my door the morning of the wedding
and made me go skinny-dipping with her through the trees.
I told her it was bad luck to see each other,
but she can be very persuasive when she's naked.
I'm sure. I think when you brought the tropics to you,
you may have gotten more than you bargained for.
Divya? I'm going to need a microscope and...
A giemsa stain?
Uh-huh.
I think you have a case of leishmaniasis.
It's caused by the bite of tropical sand flies.
One of them probably hitched a ride to America on a tree,
then bit you upstairs and downstairs
while you romped and frolicked.
Luckily, it's treatable and you're going to be okay.
Thank God.
I'll go tell my wife she still has a honeymoon to look forward to.
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
JILL: Hey.
Hey. What are you doing here?
Oh, my nephews are big fans.
They're over there waiting for the reading to start.
Oh. Can I ask, do you...
Does this cut-out look funny to you?
They're children's book characters.
Yeah. But not ha-ha funny. Like, off.
Looks like Zoomer and Jewel to me.
Okay.
Was that Super Stan Weisman, the cardiologist from Manhattan?
Mmm-hmm.
What's he doing here?
Dr. Weisman has a house in the Hamptons. And he has kids.
Oh! Yeah. No, that makes sense.
And I recruited him to work at Hamptons Heritage
two days a week, every summer.
Wow. That's quite a coup.
Mmm.
I guess sometimes us little people want it more.
Okay. I see what you're doing there.
Look, I should have spoken to you before agreeing to treat Zack.
I owed you that and I am sorry.
Yeah, well, he was leaving anyway.
Oh. So, apology accepted and we're good?
Uh...
I don't think it's that simple.
What do you mean?
Well, this is exactly what happened with me and Charlie.
Charlie. Yeah. Charlie. My ex.
You know, once it stopped working personally,
we thought we could still make it work professionally.
But it turns out it's really an all-or-nothing deal.
Anything in between is just too hard.
So, what are you saying?
I want nothing more than to see you, Hank.
But I don't think I know how.
I guess nothing is fair game.
It's the only way that I can move on. I'm sorry.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
JULIE: Hank! Come quick! Zack collapsed!
He collapsed? The cut-out.
Jewel's all yellow.
What? What does that mean?
It means that Zack is toxic. I'm on my way.
(JULIE CRYING) Stand back, ma'am. We've got it.
We were on our way, and he just...
BP's dropped to 60 over 30.
Heart rate, 150 per minute.
I've got a line in just in case.
Stop. I'm his doctor.
He's afib with RVR. He needs to be defibbed now.
Yeah. That could kill him. He has digitalis toxicity.
What does that all mean?
Julie, the tea he always drinks,
do you have the box somewhere?
There is no box. It's herbal.
He grows it himself in our garden.
Okay, I'm betting that tea was foxglove.
It grows wild here and it makes the digoxin, which slows down the heart.
He was self-medicating.
Look, state protocol mandates that we stick to standard treatment.
Yeah, well, we don't have time. I'll take full responsibility.
That's not my call, Doc. It's hers.
(MONITOR BEEPING RAPIDLY)
Julie, did you see the cut-outs he painted?
No.
Okay. They showed signs that his vision had yellowed.
That happens with excessive digitalis.
Look, I'm on your side, Julie.
(SOBBING)
Hank is his doctor.
Okay. Get my bag, please?
I need you to flatten him out.
Clear.
With digitalis toxicity, you push lidocaine, 100 milligrams.
Herbal tea can really do this?
The kind Zack drinks can. It's powerful.
So, with his heart condition, overdosing is easy.
Heart's still racing at 150.
Are you sure, Hank?
Yes. It will drop.
Heart rate is really dropping.
Too low. It's in the 30's. He could flatline.
How's his pressure? 100 over 50.
Set up the external pacemaker
just in case his pressure drops too low before this kicks in.
(GASPS)
(GAGGING)
Welcome back, buddy.
Hey, there. He's gonna be okay.
So, we'll give you IV pentavalent antimony with allopurinol.
And I'll cut back on my naked frolicking in the elements, too.
Hmm.
You'll be all better by month's end.
This survey Evan gave me? Two questions.
Can I rate you higher than a ten?
And for condition treated,
it doesn't seem to have a box for flies inside my fly.
Just check "Other."
Check.
I owe you a thanks and an apology. I was uncooperative.
I put too much value on perception sometimes.
But sometimes the best stocks are the gems nobody's heard of yet.
Hi, baby.
How's my super-fly guy?
The PA thinks I'll be better by...
Right here.
Oh, well, that's during my Trinidad photo shoot.
What would you think if I met you in Trinidad
and we flew to the real Amazon?
You'd really get in an airplane for me?
With enough sedation, sure.
Look, if something this weird can happen in the Hamptons,
what am I so afraid of, huh?
Oh baby.
Oh, my big, strong man. Oh, my gosh.
I just love you so much, my little rock star.
Eskimo kisses.
Okay. Bye. ALAN: Bye.
"Watching the sun set always made Zoomer a little sad.
"Because that meant bedtime and all the day's fun was done."
"But every night when the lights went off, Jewel whispered to him,
"Tomorrow is a brand new day."
"And it was."
Well, they think you still got it.
Well, some days, I have the mo. Some days, I have the jo.
And some days, I even put them together.
That sounds like progress.
Nothing will make you stop bitching about your life
like getting a second chance at it.
And, look, as I said, if you want to find out
if you're a candidate for either of those surgeries...
The long-term. Mmm-hmm.
Did you know Hamptons Heritage happens to have
the premiere cardiologist on the East Coast?
That's surprising to hear.
And his kids love your books.
That's not so surprising to hear.
As you requested.
Thank you.
Though it doesn't seem like payment enough.
And, as your CFO requested.
Ah! He'll be pleased by your feedback.
Can we please get started? I have some place I need to be.
Where?
I'm still working on that. Anywhere but here.
Yeah. No. I'm waiting for Divya, man.
Does she know you're giving your presentation?
Yeah, if she checks her text messages or her e-mails or her voicemail.
You should start without her.
I'm not...
Just... You know what? Okay. I will.
It's her loss.
Which means it's you and me, Henry. You and me. You ready?
I am ready.
You ready for this?
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Welcome to advanced Evanomics.
So...
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
See? I'm not starting it over for her, by the way.
I don't give a tinker's cuss what her excuse is, either.
Hey, Doc.
(HICCUPS) They're back.
I hate to bother you, but my wife is...
Come to the cabinet. Thank you.
Morning, Mr. Lawson.
Morning, Stu.
Viscous lidocaine. It will feel odd for about two seconds,
but it's better than hiccups for two days.
STU: I really appreciate this.
Stu, do you happen to take meds for allergies or asthma?
I have a prescription for my hay fever.
Well, if it's corticosteroids,
they sometimes have the side effect of persistent hiccuping.
Try these instead.
Hey, if you ever need any free AV help...
Will do. But I leave the bells and whistles to my brother.
Thanks, Doc. Take it easy. Mmm-hmm.
See you, Stu.
So, anyone else dropping by? Some huddled masses?
Maybe Fagin's gang of street urchins, perhaps?
(LAUGHS) We'll resume the Evanomics lesson later.
But so far, utterly engrossing. Riveting. Some of your best work.
Henry. Henry!
Toddle-la.
I can't believe this.
I cannot believe this.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Divya Katdare.
Well, we should...
(HICCUPS)
We should...
(HICCUPS)
We should reschedule.
(HICCUPING) No, no. We should...
(CLEARS THROAT)
(HICCUPS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Yeah.
(EVAN HICCUPS)
You got my message.
I did. I thought I'd respond to it in person.
Hmm.
You got my gift.
Yeah.
Zoomer and Jewel Go to the Hamptons. First edition.
Signed to you.
You know, if that's fair game.
Look, I'm sorry about everything.
You know, Hank,
sending me cute little gifts really isn't going to help me move on.
Well, what about adorable little gifts?
Mmm.
(LOCK CLICKS)
Even worse.